Could or should I have been different

This is a vent, a self-negative, serious but true and I ask myself because of what I say here could or should I have been different?

Back in the days our family(ies) were full of people even if many of us were a long way out from the base we did stay in touch.  I spent a lot of time overseas as did two of my cousins while we were in the military.  I am blamed for not spending a lot of time with my two sons, again I was so long distant that weekend visits were not possible.  I was divorced in 1978 and never remarried, others that were divorced did remarry.  Most of my uncle’s, all of my grandparents, my parents, one half-sister are all gone.

One son, we have no communications, the youngest one lives close by and I do talk to him occasionally and see him some time.  Their mother is in bad shape, I would say worse than I am.  I have a lot of respect for her and I do pray that she will overcome her problems and get well.  I told the youngest that he needs to spend time with her as much as possible.  Back in 1995 we almost lost him due to an auto accident and with many prayers, he came through with some memory loss but overall he is well.

I sometimes feel like I am blacklisted for some reason,  I do not know if I am or not, maybe in some ways, I am.  I have a phone(s), I have email, I have FB, and I have text.  I am always at home, I ask no one for anything, and I do not wish to be asked for anything.  I will be ok, my arrangements are made and on file and I leave nothing to no one.  So, I ask:

Could I have been different?  I am sure I could have, in some cases I should have I am sure.

Should I have been different?  Again, I am sure I should have.

I am the same person that grew up alone, today I live alone, and I feel alone.  My dear Mother, my best friend did her best for me and 2005 I lost her to strokes and diabetes.  She is so missed.

Ok, I have expressed my feelings and I am done.  Sorry, but I needed to air this.

Astound by the ability

Back in the day, I was amazed by the Commodore 64 Computer’s abilities. I have been thinking about it and those days.  I still have a couple of the old Bag Phones that were out as cell phones.  I also still have one of the first cell phones, the white one about 8 or 9″ with a black antenna on top.  I put a lot of miles on them when I was driving my truck around America.  Now, of course, the Commodore was long before that.

I often go to YouTube and look at videos about the Note 9 phone now that I have one.  I have learned so much since I have gotten it and that is what astounds me by the ability of such a small instrument which has so much more memory and abilities of all the computers that I have ever owned.  I do have an HP that I purchased in December 2018, that is an All-in-One desktop with 1Tb of memory.  My Note 9 now has the 1Tb and even it can be attached to a monitor and used as a desktop.  I use to work in electronics in the Navy and even then would have never believed where it was all going.  Now with MS Azure and others, the robots are coming soon.  Lol, I have considered one of the robot carpet vacuum cleaners.

Astound by the abilities of today.

A search for the best buys

We as humans, well I guess some animals do this also, tend to search for the best prices or opportunities to enrich a purpose.  I,  one, tend to foray a facility two or three times before a purchase is made.  Animals also tend to foray a food source in search of the easiest and best for their food sources and purpose.

A search for the best buys.

Time is a hurry today

As I excavated the cobwebs from my noggin, I discovered a lot of empty space that could be useful if used correctly.  Now, am I savvy enough to organize such task and use the space in a smart manner?  I shall ponder my qualifications in making my decision.

Time is ticking faster and faster now, so much to accomplish and so little time to make it happen.

Time is a hurry today.

An hour has passed

An hour has passed, I’ve boxed a few words and mailed them to others.  I’ve visited some post of others, to some I sent regards and liked many others.  I am sure I’ve missed some but you are not forgotten, I have all day to ring the bell and to say thank you for a smile with a smile.  Today, I shall not be a doldrums.  An hour has passed, for now, I shall rest and removed the cobwebs from my noggin and freshen the air, therein, contained.

An hour has passed.