The word is out that rain will return tonight. I guess it has been cold and dry for a day or two to long.
A friend asked me for help on getting her daughter something for Christmas. I hesitated but I know the little one and I did help her with what she wanted. I have known the daughter for a number of years and she is really a very nice young lady.
I submit this post not that it will be interesting, probably not, but because it is about me and only me even if other characters are included to make a point. Did I do something wrong? No, I do not think I did anything wrong except be myself. Have I enjoyed my life as it is or has been through the years past? I think that I have enjoyed it, I can recall most things that I have done and when I laugh at whatever they may be. Do I regret things that I have done that may have caused hurt to another? If I have caused hurt to another then yes I to regret that. Am I embarrassed by things that I have done? No, I am not embarrassed by nothing that I have done, I may wish that at times that I had not done whatever it was. I will say this, I did drink a few beers over the years, I started drinking beer in Germany because the bottle cost a quarter and a coke a dollar., I was 18 or 19 years of age then. As for drugs, I have never engaged in that way of life, good or bad. I have never smoked in my life.
In the beginning, it was my mother and I and we lived with my grandparents on the farm. My mother felt like getting away and having our life together, so we moved 17 miles from the farm and she got a good job so we could get an apartment. The apartments are now gone to the apartment heaven. My mother worked hard to get me into school and educated, she was sick a lot during her life. I was well and at about age 8 or 9 I began delivering papers in the town that we lived. The old bicycle peddles kept a turning each day, rain or shine. I also cut grass for neighbors to earn money for movies and to spend some time with my girlfriend, we still talk at Christmas and her birthday. I would visit my Grandparents many weekends of the year when I could and also in the summer vacations periods.
We, my mother and I, moved back to my hometown and she became employed there. We eventually moved into a duplex which was located across the street from my Grandparents. Both homes are now gone. We lived there until I joined the military. My days of learning was about to begin and fast. I had no social life at school really because I had nothing to offer anyone, we had no car of our own nor did we have status. I was a homer during my school years and if I went out I’d either walk or catch a ride with someone. Mostly I just walked to school and home again. Yes, I had friends, I think, I was not popular and so I was never asked to do anything or to be part of the comradery.
We had a saying back when, and when I use it here no harm is meant if you are a Jones. I was always told to be myself and do not try to keep up with the Jones. I do not know, I guess at some time there the Jones had a lot of status and influence.
This is me, myself, and I.
A friend confronted me today with some comments made by others telling of what I do each morning that I go out to eat. I have a word for that:
Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and envy over relative lack of possessions, status or something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a comparator, a rival, or a competitor.
I told my friend exactly what I did about the tip, and that I did give the server some Slim Jim. Yes, she did order my food for me, her job I think. I eat when I get to the facility because of my sugar status. Sure it was a little before the “6 o’clock girl” came on shift, who thinks anyone there when she is there is hers and only hers. I got news to spread, I belong to no one.
I almost stopped going there but my friend asked me not to do that, said that she just wanted to tell me what they were saying about me to her. I would think that if I am 71 years of age that I should know what I am doing and do whatever I so desire to do. Maybe I am wrong.
A friend confronted me today.